My Selfless Lover… I don’t love you anymore

I don’t even know if I ever loved you at all or I just used you and your kindness and your selflessness. Thinking about our 7 year old relationship, I can’t thank you enough for so much you have given me. You were the intelligent one, the humorous one, even the charming one and what did I bring to the table when the relationship began? A teenager with limited experience beyond his family and friends, a naïve kid who needed so much to learn! Yet, you accepted me with open arms, taught me, and loved me.

You were the better dancer at the parties, you were the intelligent one at intense discussions, you were the funny one at gossips sessions. You helped me make friends, mostly male and few female. You were the one who brought us friends together. I don’t think you even have ever asked to be loved as much as you love. Maybe you should have asked. Maybe you should have demanded. Maybe you should have pushed your hand down my throat and pulled out what was your right. But it just wouldn’t have been you.

I ran away for someone else but when I came back crying, you accepted me with open arms. You gave me solace. You gave me company on what otherwise would have been lonely nights. And what does this selfish lover gave you in return? Nothing! And now he is running away again, never to return. He is getting married to someone else and the girl doesn’t really approve of our affair. She for sure won’t allow us to carry on. We will meet but only as friends. Friends, who meet, catch up, laugh, smile and then before it goes out of hand and we find ourselves on the same bed in the morning, I will be gone.

Remember those mornings when we would be lying on the jetty by the lake? It felt like bliss. I felt happy. You have made me happy more times than anyone else has and I don’t think I would ever be able to repay your debt but, and I know this will make you happy, the girl with whom I am getting married to has made me happier. We haven’t spent a lot of time together but there’s a long road ahead.

And now that this is confession time, I would tell you about something else too. It’s the only thing that can actually hurt you but I think I should come out clean once and for all. I think I have used you but I also think I might have been in love with your sister. Not coz she is fairer and weighs less and has an amazing figure. I just happened to have funnier, light and stress free times with her. You do know that our relationship has caused me quite a lot of headaches, right? Lets just suffice by saying you are the marriage material while your sister is the stuff you take out to parties, show off to friends and have fun, non-committal relationships with. She would never force herself on you and you would never get addicted to her either. You would just go to her when you have the time and when you feel like going. I am definitely not undoing all the good things I have said about you. You have been better than her in more senses but yeah, I might keep in touch with her more than you in my life post marriage.

We will definitely meet once in a while. Can’t really help that can we? We do have a lot of common friends. But I would try to behave myself and you try not to seduce me with your charm coz it after all might not have that charming effect on me anymore.

Whether I did love you or just used you, I leave it to you to decide.

Take care and have a great life ahead

Adios amigo.

Dabas

P.S. - Now if you haven't really been able to guess till now, I am talking about Rum. Now would I even have to tell you about the sister! Read again and tell me what you think :)